Dear Parents:

I love my job…don’t get me wrong.  I get to be home all day every day with my daughter and raise her the way I see fit.  In order to afford to do this I have taken on six other children whom I also care for during the day.  Now if changing all those poopy diapers, wiping all those snotty noses and feeding those hungry faces isn’t enough, here are the other things I do on a daily basis.

Teach your children: ABC’s and 1,2,3′s, you betcha, but also I act as a ring leader and sometimes referee for acceptable behavior towards others.  If I take the time to send a note home on your child’s disrespectful or unacceptable behavior, believe me it was warranted. As much as you would like to believe I’m nitpicking and sending home notes on every little thing because I’m a hound, believe me, it couldn’t be further from the truth.  I realize kids will be kids so if you get a note from me, we had a rough day.

Couldn't blog if I wanted to!

I clean up messes…lots of them…and my house is not always spotless.  But before you think I’m watching Maury all day here are a few ideas to help me out. Bring your child dressed in the morning with a clean diaper please.  I am the child’s daytime caretaker, not your morning assistant.  I make $3 an hour per child.  The least you could do is have them brush their teeth, change their clothes and have them in a clean (non-soaking) diaper in the morning.  You mean to tell me they soaked their diaper in the five minute drive here and you just happened to leave them in their jammies? Oh yes, I’d love to dress and bathe your child and the six others I have here before breakfast!

Also, Mandarin Oranges soaked in sugar are not a food group. I realize this is an easy substitute for fruit with dinner after a long hard days work but trust me your child’s digestive tract is not a big fan.  To prove it to you I may just start feeding your toddler candied mandarin oranges for breakfast, snack, lunch and afternoon snack on a random Friday just to show you the aftermath.  Too bad I care too much about your child to actually do something like that but when you wonder why your kid has a tummy ache and diaper rash all the time, maybe we should look at diet. When I spend half my day dealing with excessive poopy diapers we may have a problem.

Ew!

Nurse duty.  I am not a nurse but should have been; I mean I police bowel movements, soothe achy bellies and limbs and console “sick” children.  But in reality I should never have be a nurse as a childcare provider.  I do my best to confine and destroy the pesky germs those little ones bring in but do me a favor and keep them home.  I realize it may leave you with less than ideal vacation time at the end of the year but you wouldn’t want me to allow other sick children to infect your child so please don’t put me in that position.

Therapist duty.  Not for the kids but the parents.  I’m a not a therapist…thank goodness and I can’t pretend to be one.  I’m very sorry your family is struggling, I really am, however my hours do not change.  I can not keep your kid until 8pm please don’t ask me to.  You and your spouse, ex-spouse, friend, mother or whomever needs to pick them up on or before 5:30. My day starts at 6 am and 5:30 is plenty late seeing as you have had time to run errands, take and hour lunch and grab supper on the way home.  I love your kids but this is my job not my life.

Also, While it may appear that I am single…I’m not. No I won’t share the details with you as I realize doing so could hamper my business somewhat. I’m sure my long term families are very much aware and I doubt I would lose much business over my partner being female but lets just discuss my work performance and/or your child shall we.  This is also the reason I will find any excuse not to socialize with you on the weekends.  It’s not because I’m trying to be a jerk, it’s just that I have my life and you have yours.

Plus, after five days of this:

I really just want to do this, by myself, or with my girlfriend:

Cheers,

Your underpaid but happy, co-dependent as hell, pushover childcare provider!

Monday Funday! That’s Not Right?

Unfortunately it's NOT a just a bad dream!

Its…wait for it…wait for it… Nope it wasn’t a bad dream. Its Monday.  For me that is back to the daily grid of child rearing fun! Mommy tourette syndrome; stop running, no hitting, why are you yelling, be nice to the dog, who’s poopy?

My favorite Monday dumb move was the one where after warming breast milk for the baby, I forgot to put the disposable liner in the bottle before dumping the milk in.  Breast milk everywhere!  Yep, that happened. Gross!

These things are a constant for me.  After a weekend spent with friends I go back to raising other peoples children.  My girlfriend asks, “Are you sure you want to have more children together? I’m ready when you are.” Don’t get me wrong, I want more children.  We only have one of our own. Yes she is ours, even though she is mine from a previous relationship. My girlfriend is as much of a parent figure in her life as anyone. She would be the best mother. I’m just not sure right now is the time.  But is there ever an ideal time?

We have a long way to go before there will be any more children brought into the picture. We have our parents and other family members to deal with first.  We are moving in together at the end of the summer, at which time I will be giving up my business to go back to school.  From there it is a 3 year haul through a grueling PA program.

But for now my bad case of the Monday’s reminds me that we can, and should, wait to have more children.  I love all “my” kids and parents dearly….but there are days…Whoa!

Huff Huff Puff!

http://www.adbusters.org/blogs/adbusters-blog/huff-puff-it-down.html

I, like many of you, peruse the Huffington Post almost on a daily basis.  I submitted an article topic on bi-visibility a few months back.  It was actually on the two posts that started this whole blog. On Visibility and The Girlfriend Weighs In or NOT! I never heard back from them so I went ahead and started this blog.  Only to check in with the Huffington Post this morning to find an article very similar to the ones I had posted.  Now this could totally be a coincidence because, seriously, I’m a nobody (not to say all of their bloggers are somebody, we know they aren’t all distinguished by any means) and I’m sure these are common arguments among bisexuals…I’m just simmering slightly.  So today I sent in another pitch and I’m keeping it to myself for awhile, just to see if they will take it and pawn it off on someone who has a title or a history of successful blogging. I mean, who can blame them really? I’m not the best blogger or writer, I don’t have a great sense of humor. There are serious bloggers who spend years blogging before they get jobs blogging –  a couple months of mediocre to low level blog posts are not going to get anyone’s attention.

To wander slightly; I would also like to point out that the women most often blogging in the bisexual column of the Huffington Post are often times dating a man. As if one night in college at a swingers party somehow gives you insight on the subject of bisexuality and queerness.  Maybe its just the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head, I’m not trying to de-legitimize their experiences with women or men.  And maybe its because I consider myself more of a bisexual lesbian that I’m falling into the very trap I hate.  For whatever reason I find it mildly irritating; in that, my foot itches but I’m in a meeting wearing shoes and can’t do sh*t about it sort of way!

Apparently the Huffington Post has upset others in the past, accused of fishing for ideas without giving due credit.  There was a lot of press last year at this time because of the merger with AOL and hundreds of angry unpaid bloggers.  Huff&Puff It Down has a large number of alternative news sites worth a gander.  Go check it out!

Related Links:

• Huff & Puff It Down | Adbusters Culturejammer Headquarters.
• http://nyconvergence.com/2011/08/graphic-designers-angry-over-huffington-post-contest.html
• http://www.editorsweblog.org/2011/04/13/angry-unpaid-huffington-post-bloggers-file-a-lawsuit

LBQ Research on Substance Abuse

Sharing a link to a LBQ research project on substance abuse within the LBQ Community!  Please stop by and participate.  I feel it is important to the health and wellbeing of LBQ persons because we deserve an accurate representation of the health needs specific to our community.  So if you would be so kind as to share and participate!!!!

http://lbqresearch.wordpress.com/

- Lydia

Words to my Future Sister-In-Law

My girlfriend is the youngest of five. The three oldest are biological boys, she and her sister are the two youngest (both adopted, non-biological sisters).  Her sister is incredibly controlling.  She does things like call and text constantly when she knows we are out of town.  She’s wanting to know every detail, and of course the GF is not being very forthcoming.  This leads to further angry and passive aggressive texts.

Yesterday when I came home, the GF was out on the deck grilling and crying. Now, I have yet to see her really cry like this.  And my blood boiled.  I had just sent the sister an invite to a surprise birthday party for my GF and of course I feel like her sister picking a fight had a little something to do with that.  She is jealous of the time we spend together and will use her children as pawns in the relationship.  Denying my GF access and visits with her niece and nephew and almost in the same sentence accuse her of not coming to see them enough.

I’m furious with her childish behavior.  She acts as though she is the other woman or the overbearing mother, disapproving of our relationship.  I have never hurt my GF.  We do not fight to a point worth mentioning so I am curious as to which part of her behavior shows “good” intentions.  Everyone says she’s a bear with the best of intentions.  Well hell you could have fooled me.  Last time I checked making someone you “love” cry because they didn’t do what you wanted them to do, the way you wanted them to do it, when you wanted them to do it does not have that persons interests in mind at all. Saying things that are intentionally hurtful does not equate to “best of” intentions.  I have no idea what everyone is talking about.  Its like she has brainwashed them all to believe that the shit that comes out of her mouth somehow has a subtle scent of flowers.  It doesn’t.

So here is a list of things I would love to say to my sister-in-law if it were “in the best interest” of my GF.  Seeing as it probably isn’t I will just spout it off here.

1. Make some friends, get a life and quit being jealous of ours.

2. If you need or want us or her to do something just say it as you want it done. We can say whether or not we can do what you are asking and if so which part we can commit to…that way we all know what to expect and no one is disappointed.

3. I am not going away, so get used to it. You don’t even know me really so who are you to judge what is “good” for her.

4. You are doing the opposite of what ever it is you are trying to accomplish and no one is winning.  You are not winning, your sister is not winning, I’m not winning and your children are not winning.  You are pushing your sister away and you will not drive a wedge between us so stop trying.

5. Your sister is going to have a life of her own.  Don’t you want that for her? Who are you to try and control her life?

6. Most importantly, don’t f*ck with me…and by f*cking with the love of my life you are indeed f*cking with me….I recommend playing nice. Just sayin.

High-Five!

I was floored when someone I was friends with on Facebook posted this photo, no caption included.  I commented that I “hope you are posting this photo to display the absurdity, hatefulness and ignorance it embodies.” Unfortunately that was not the case.  This person actually laughed that I was upset, ignorantly pleased with himself.  I was embarrassed and disappointed for him.  We obviously are no longer friends.  I think the thing that bothered me the most is that I had actually accepted his friend request years back in the first place.

I grew up in a small town.  Very homogeneous, white, poor, and secluded.  Not everyone I grew up with feels this way or would dare speak of it if they did.  But there are a few who are absolutely clueless as to how the world works. And you can’t argue with stupid.  They choose to remain ignorant and that is the most dangerous thing about them.  This is why when I was given the chance I ran as fast as I could away from that place.  Only to return to the home of my parents and to stay there, rarely venturing out to mingle with the towns people.  To this young man I think the best response can only be:

The purveyor of the publishing company who allowed this hatred to be printed defends it proclaiming there is nothing racist about it. See below article.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/don-t-nig-purveyor-paula-smith-says-bumper-185405237.html

Craigslist Love

What’s wrong with this ad? It’s kind of like those “Highlights” for kids what’s wrong with this picture search! Unfortunately this is a pretty standard singles women seeking women ad.  I like to scroll through these once in a while just as a social experiment and entertainment.  Occasionally there may be a good heartfelt post but seeing as this is a free site you never know what you are going to read.  Enjoy this sample and let me know what you think is wrong with this post.  I have a number of comments of my own but I want to see what you like or what bothers you about it and I will also share my comments.

 

Need U Under My Spell.. Right MEOW! – 34 (DM)

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Date: 2012-03-20, 1:47AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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I’m looking for a femme bisexual/lesbian to play with. You dont have to be supermodel beautiful.. But you should be confident and sexy  

Truthfully, I don’t have a lot of experience. Mostly jus kissing and petting but it was very nice and is definitely something I miss and wud like to try again. This time I’m gna graduate to sucking and licking

I shud prolly describe myself a lil. I am 5’4 and 120 pounds. I am turning 35 soon, but I still maintain. Most people think I look younger. I am Asian with long brown hair. I’m told I am attractive and sexy. And most importantly I am nice and fun And I’m even smart. Jus sayn..

I like to sing and dance. Read and write. Cook and ESPECIALLY eat. I like to shoot pool (but aren’t very good, it’s just fun). And I enjoy watching good movies.

I would prefer to meet someone aged 25-40. I wud like to meet someone hw proportional, D/D free and clean. No offense, but I am not attracted to BBW. And definitely not men. I already have one and he barely does anything right Lol

I am not married but I do have a boyfriend. He won’t be involved in any way though.

Jus to clarify: No couples of the hetero variety.. duh. And no men.. super duhh!

I don’t wana email forever and I WILL voice verify before we plan to meet. 

I am very real and the pictures are recent. It rained yesterday and it’s supposed to rain more this week.. good cuddle weather

If you think we can get along send a message AND picture with a catchy headline. I’ll reply with my number if I think we can be compatible XxxX